M-I-C........K-E-Y.......M-O-U-S-E
So, we are not going to the Cayman islands on the 21st. Will's grandma passed away and his father has postponed the trip--which is totally understandable. (sad, but understandable) I was so looking foward to this vacation. His dad got insurance on the trip, knowing something might happen...so for now we're planning on a vacation with the family later this year. He is sending Will, Landon, and I on a mini vacation though. We really need it. Will and I are at eachother's throats everyday...I'm not sure if its stress, or just that we have been around eachother day and night for a bit too long now, that we both haven't been to work in a while---work is a getaway for me at least...time for adult conversation and a way to use my brain and feel like i'm useful, that i have purpose. I'm not saying i dont enjoy being home with landon, but i need time away or i get really cranky. I guess i'm not meant to be a stay at home mom....maybe when daycare starts or when we have more kids and they are older and have activites/school it will be a different story but this past year has drained me. Kudos to Keri who seems to LOVE being home with Belle and Nikki who is going to stay home now and start her business....I'm jealous that you seem to have it all together...I---be it may from lack of family/friends in the areas i've lived for support --could not keep staying at home all the time w/ landon. I worked weekends this past year and that helped but sometimes i just wished i had other help (family/daycare...) Will was there but i definitely consider myself the main caregiver..I'm not sure where this whole rant came from...i was blogging about something entirely different...I just feel guilty sometimes for wanting to be away from him. I know i shouldnt but i do. He's also in this stage now where he just wants mommy,...up up mommy, pick me up mommy...whines/cries for mommy...only better if mommy is there...shows he loves and trusts me but wow, its draining... He also has quite the personality on him...whew this kid is something else...i LOVE him, I could not imagine my life without him...he blows my mind how smart he is...but good gracious he's growing up way too fast...Looking back on this past year i really should have been evaluated for baby blues or pp depression or something...I think pride got in the way or the fact that i'm a postpartum nurse and felt obligated to be "perfect"...i'm just glad i'm closer to family now...
ANYWAY..back to my original blog ...we're going to Disney instead...We're going April 27th - May 1st...then come back here..then get this i fly right back to Orlando on the 3rd for my friend Jen's wedding...This should be interesting considering its only ME going..Will and Landon will be taking care of eachother from thurs-sunday....I'll miss them, but am WAY excited to get some girl time/party time....P.S. I miss all my friends...and love you all very much!
here's a pic of landon "bringing sexy back" in his swim suit
here's a pic of landon "bringing sexy back" in his swim suit
posted by stacy @ 9:07 PM
7 Comments:
I love the pic. We need more pics of Landon. :) He's such a cutie. I can't believe he'll be one in 11 days! Although... in a lot of ways, he seems so much older already!
Sounds like you've got a lot of exciting vacations coming up! I'm sure you guys will have a blast at Disney. And partying with the girls sounds perfect. Glad you'll be able to do that. :)
I don't know how you and Keri (and Kayci) do it with your super active babies. Being Halle's mom is really easy (so far.. not a lot of chasing her all over the place yet). I give you guys a lot of credit for all the energy you put into it. Sounds like you'll have your balance soon when you go to work and Landon is in daycare and everything will fall into place perfectly.
We miss you and look forward to seeing you soon! :)
Isn't it crazy how every mom has her "perfect situation" whether it be staying at home all of the time, working part-time, or working full-time. None of the choices mean we love our children any more or less, but no matter which path we choose (or have to take), we find something to feel guilty about. I sometimes feel like I'm depriving Belle of playing with and learning from other children because I keep her at home. Or that she watches too much TV. Then there's the guilt about wanting time away from her for myself and/or my friends. There's always something, yet we all turned out okay no matter what our moms (or dads) did when we were growing up; huh?
I didn't have any pp depression with Belle, but think I did have some pre-partum depression with this 2nd one (which supposedly means I'm more likely to have post with this one). I am SOO glad that my mom was here during those weeks that she was because that meant Belle wasn't as dependant on me, and I could take care of myself some. But then, of course, I felt guilty for having someone else take care of her, and blah, blah, blah. "The Scare" incident with Baby 2 also scared the depression out of me too, I suppose, 'cause I felt a total 180 after that.
Landon will LOVE Disney now! I can't wait to take Belle back, 'cause I'm sure it'll be a totally different experience than it was a year ago. I'm sure the vacation will help you and Will too, especially when you see Landon light up the way that I'm sure he will!
Take care of YOU Stacy! :) A happy Mommy makes for a happier baby, so I'm sure Landon will be glad to have you get that (what sounds like is a much-needed) vacation to be a "girl" again (instead of just "Mommy")!
Can't wait to see you! Jen
That was quite an emotional post. I will leave a more in depth comment later, since we are about to go get some dinner.
I totally relate to the guilt thing. When I was working full-time, I felt guilty at not spending enough time with Leah. When I was home full-time, I felt guilty that I didn't do enough structured activities with her. Now that I am working part-time and watching Ty, I resent that I don't get to go to the gym and do what I want to do. It will never be the PERFECT situation, but you do what you can.
Have a BLAST at Disney. We took Leah at just under a year and she liked it. I can't wait to take her again.
Please don't ever feel guilty for need "YOU" time. I can totally relate to everything you said. Take a vacation on your own. I have planned a week in Thailand with a girlfriend in Sept because I too feel the need to "get-away" from it all. Being a good mom doesn't mean you have to be a stay at home mom. It means loving your child and providing them with a good life, teaching them good morals and letting them know you are proud of them. If working makes you feel sane then work and continue being an awesome mom to Landon in the time that you spend together. I don't think working mom are not good moms. Working keeps me sane but it also means the kids can have more opportunities and "things" (camps, sport, dancing, toys, trips overseas) because we have more money coming in.
I love you little cousin and you can always chat to me. I think you are a great and Landon loves you.
XOXO
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